Arizona is not Montana

 It has been a while since I last wrote here on my blog. As I look back at what I have written in the past, I see and am reminded of my plans to move to western Montana. Well, here I am in Arizona. Life will take turns that are not expected. I still want to move to Western Montana but for whatever reason God has moved me to HOT Arizona instead. I am currently looking for work with applications sent into a couple different places. One job that I came down for keeps putting off the date they need me so I wonder if that is what I will even end up doing down here. I have been chasing wildland fire jobs now for a few years, and now I have been wondering why I am doing it. Is it because that is what I want to do or is it something God is using to prepare me for later in life? Am I chasing a vain life dream? “For who knows what is good for man in life, all the days of his vain life which he passes like a shadow? Who can tell a man what will happen to him under the sun?” Ecc. 6:12.

Having been here in Arizona now for a few days I have been introduced to several of the people from the Church here as well as seen some of the ministries that they are involved in. One of my desires is to get involved with the people and ministries, but then I have to ask myself why do I want to be involved? Is it to show others that I am Godly because I work with the youth? But being concerned about my wrong attitude and avoiding the ministries is equally as dangerous. “Do not be overly righteous, nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself? Do not be overly wicked, or foolish: why should you die before your time? It is good that you grasp this and remove your hand from the other; For he who fears God will escape them all.” Ecc. 7:16-18. I keep in my prayers that my desire to minister to others is a desire to serve God by giving myself and time for the spiritual benefit of others, not the desire to show others how righteous I am for serving God (this in reality is serving self rather than God).

What is God's direction in my life? People ask me “do you feel called to the ministry?” I always give the answer, “Ultimately yes, but I feel that as one communicating the Word of God to another I would better relate intellectually having been living in the day to day life like every one else rather than jumping into 'full-time ministry' right out of school.” But as I sit back and think about the answer I give, I wonder if this is really God's leading or if it is just my 'ideal' idea. I believe God wants me in 'full-time' ministry, but am I going at it His way or mine? Am I following the “ideal” ministry method or am I following what God has for me here and now? As I think in these things my prayer is that my heart is truly set on God's direction, not my ideal. I think Solomon concluded well in Ecclesiastes, “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, For this is man's all. For God will bring every work into judgment, including every secret thing, whether good or evil.” Ecclesiastes 12:13-14.